16 New Years' resolutions you can actually keep

December 30, 2014

  1. Do more things you like doing (i.e. going to the park, making prank phone calls, eating sausage biscuits from McDonald's).
  2. Do more things you don’t like doing but make your life better (i.e. promptly doing your laundry, paying your parking tickets, making a meal in the slowcooker, going to the gym)
  3. Don’t do more things. Do less things. Say no when you don’t really want to do something/don’t have time for it/think it causes more stress than it’s worth.
  4. Say I love you very often to yourself, your significant other, and to your parents. At least try it for January.
  5. Talk a lot about how you're not going to buy fast fashion, but then buy it when you're in a jam. But try not to! Talk about how you never do it to compensate for all the times that you succumb!
  6. Save your money so that if you accidentally have a baby it would be ok.
  7. Apply to grad school to convince those around you that you're smarter and more on top of your game than you really are. In general, try to make your life seem better than it actually is.
  8. Try to seem even cooler on Instagram. Bonus if you get a pet just so you can post photos of him.
  9. Buy an amazing little black dress no matter what it costs because the right LBD is magic!
  10. Don't pretend to like kale. Eat better but go easy on yourself if you don’t. The McDonald's sausage biscuit is amazing.
  11. Buy nice makeup that makes you look like a clown 'cuz you're an adult woman and you do what you want.
  12. Write a list like this because yours will be better than mine.
  13. Run a half marathon because that shit is fun! If 13 miles seems like too much, then do what I do and get up off the couch to get a snack instead of wrangling your boyfriend or room mate to bring you one.
  14. Work hard and make stuff you're proud of-- at the office and at home. This one might seem *hard* but if you just try a tiny bit to not be a total loaf of bread, then you will make progress.
  15. Read books, not just blogs.
  16. Ramp up your emoji usage, especially the use of the corn cob. Increase :) in professional emails.
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